lalalafrickyou: bloody-nips: i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck “her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted
fartgallery: if I start blushing and you yell “awww you’re embarrassed!!!!!” I will never speak to you ever again
genderikari: siliconedrops: genderikari: real women have curves, running all the way from their gills to their tail fins. real women have sharp teeth. real women are sharks. I stopped reading at “real women” you should have kept reading
secretlymisha: as far as i can tell from my dash there’s some sort of gay musical olympics going on that only europe was invited to
superlockthetardis: can we talk about the way the letter g is written on computer fonts if i ever try to write that on paper it looks so weird
parents: no boys at your sleepover
tomatomouthkisser: ejacutastic: i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know but what if those are memories from a past life? because once I had this memory and I am sure that it happened but then I asked my parents about it and they said it never happened and that I never had red hair as a child. what if i had red hair in my...
burgrs: i thought i left my ipod in the theater so we went back to look for it and i couldn’t see so i turned on my ipod to give me some light so i could find my ipod do u see where this is goin g because i did not
hardcorerockinn: saying “no we can’t” when bob the builder and his gang said “can we fix it?” because you were a rebellious cunt of a child
galaxys4: hello students. welcome to my math class. we will be having a class trip this year, the first ever math field trip in history. it’s to hell. here we are
221b-mine-please: pirenstoletheimpala: mycroft-queenofcake: iamjayse: thenerdfighterkid: slydig: tsarbucks: slydig: dont be mean be median or mode damn math fandom bloggers shut up we have a good range of jokes this is our domain guys we’re forgetting the point of this post and going off on a tangent Are you all done cos I’ve had enough of this by now Damn math...
just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time
moonupabove: askinnyblackman: elloelen: theprettygoodgatsby: piffsburg: Females: I want equal rights. Females: You can’t hit me I’m a female. Females: I want equal rights and i don’t want you to hit me because I am a human being and I don’t like being hit Even if they throw the first punch? how about no one hits anyone because hitting people is wrong #god damn we learned this...
spotifylistener: when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there
alltsunandnodere: agayofgays: I FIGURED IT OUT THE ‘THE’ IS SIDEWAYS, RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU READ THE THE WITH ALL THREE OF THE PHRASES ‘IMAGINE THE SKY’ ‘HOW IS THE SKY’ ‘TOUCH THE SKY’ IT’S STILLSTUPID BUT I FIGURED IT THE F OUT YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN.
lettucefetish: i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me
snlofficial: when ur crush talks about how hot someone else is
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
spookymormon: please stop asking me about my future ill cry